I love a hello. A howdy. A sup. A how’s it going. Hellos are easy. If it’s been a long time they’re even better. Hugging someone you haven’t seen in too long. Instantly falling back into old routines and habits. That person can take you back to a time and place. They can fill you with memories long forgotten. I wish that life could be all hellos.
I remember when I was a camper there was nothing like that first day back in the div. All the fellas rolled up and saw who they were in cabin with. Who their councilors were. And by the time the last parent had driven off it was like no time had passed at all. We were back under the pines and life was simple and good once more. It was the best.
But with every hello comes a goodbye. It’s part of the contract. Nothing lasts forever. And at least for me, goodbyes are hard. I struggle to find the words when the ending finally comes. I remember leaving camp for the last time. I walked around unsure of what to say or how to say it. Camp had taught me so much. But it had yet to teach me how to say goodbye for good.
I knew it was the end of the line for many of the friendships I had fostered over the years. There would be no more hellos for so many of us. As I drifted around I jotted a few phone numbers down, hugged a couple of pals and ultimately decided it was easier to just get in the car and go.
Despite the hollow feeling this left me with, I continued this pattern for years. At birthday parties, or group hangouts I would often Irish Goodbye. Without a word I would depart and be gone before anyone knew it.
Those decisions still eat at me. There are people I wish were still in my life. People I wish I had closed the book with. But I left the last page unread. I knew an ending was coming and I pulled back. I chose the easy way out. I knew it was wrong and yet I did it anyway. I chose short term ease and now faced the long term guilt.
When I graduated college I fell into the familiar pattern. I said a couple small farewells but when I packed up my car and drove home there were many people I neglected to properly say goodbye to. People I would likely never see again.
But after I got home, something changed. I was fed up with myself and my actions. I decided things would be different this time. I picked up my phone and called or texted all of the people I had failed to say goodbye to in person. It didn’t erase the guilt entirely. But it got me on the right path.
Since then I have had many goodbyes. Some when I left Boston to come work at camp. Some when my friends left camp after last summer and I stayed behind. Others were the final goodbye to a loved one. All of them were painful. All of them felt a little awkward. But I do not lament a single one. The chapter of my life that each of those people occupied feels complete, finished, and without loose ends.
The shadows have grown long on this session. Before you know it they will be long on this summer. It is later than you think. But it is not too late. If you are like me and too often you find yourself standing on the edge and walking back, I urge you to take the plunge. Life is filled with regrets. Saying goodbye to your friends will never be one of them.
If there is someone here, or across the lake that has impacted you this summer, they deserve a goodbye. Go up to them, give them a hug and tell them what their friendship meant this year on the lake. Endings are hard, but they are necessary. Read that last page. Close the book. You won’t regret it.